There’s More For Me Than This
You hear it:“There’s More For Me Than This”
This statement lives in the back of the minds of all visionaries.
I hear it often from clients. There’s an intuitive knowing. A feeling. A call for more beneath the surface of their lives.
I’ve felt this too. And I can say with 100 percent certainty, it’s a really good sign. Because it’s your life mission calling.
Here’s my story, plus how to answer the call.
This article was written by a human, experiencing human things. Not AI. (Hi! 👋🏻) Because I believe that words are far more meaningful and powerful when there's open-hearted energy and lived experience behind them.
The First Time I Felt It
The first time was after leaving a modelling career that was bubbling with excitement — travel, parties at designer clubs in Milan, and seeing myself in commercials and music videos — to being stuck at a corporate desk from 8:30 till 5:30.
Modelling was complicated. It was exciting, superficially validating at times, and soul-crushing at other times. It was also exhausting — long days, no lunch breaks (because why did models need to eat? It’s not like they’re human beings who get hungry.), or running around a city I barely knew, trying to get to 12 castings in one day.
But most of all, it wasn’t lucrative. I know there’s this idea that every model gets paid $10k per show, but that’s the top 1%. I basically worked off my plane ticket, paid for food, nice clothes, and rent, and then was sent to another location.
It was a great way to see the world, but I was tired and wanted to move into a cute apartment in the city with my best friend. So I needed a job that paid the bills.
I knew the corporate life wasn’t ideal. But I didn’t know how far from myself it would lead me.
I made it through about 9 years before I burnt out (I later found out this is very common for Projector Energy Types). And in that burnt-out state, I kept going, struggling to reach goals I’d never set for myself just to keep from facing the public humiliation of not meeting a deadline or someone else’s expectations.
During each morning commute, my gut would twist and tighten — but I thought everyone experienced that. It was normal.
And the longer I lived a life that wasn’t designed for me, the more I felt like those tigers in the zoo, walking back and forth in their enclosure, constantly moving but not going anywhere.
The craziest part was, in my early 30s, I was fantasizing about retirement. I wanted to be 65!
This insanity wasn’t lost on me. I was well aware I was out of place, betraying myself every day, but I felt a victim of consequence — or capitalism.
Months went by, my adrenal glands were exhausted, I had adult acne, and I oscillated between feeling on edge and feeling bored.
My pilot light had gone out.
Reigniting the Light
Then, Rebecca Campbell’s book Light is the New Black came into my life, and I realized I could reignite it — I just needed to figure out what lit me up.
I brought gardening, creative writing, and meditation into my life, and everything began to shift. I felt excited for life again. I felt like I was choosing me again.
That was, until I created a weekly schedule to see where I could add more of the things I loved into my calendar — the things that made me feel like me. The real me. The me that actually had a pulse again.
But when I completed the schedule, I was shocked. The lit-up me was literally framing my week. The massive rectangle of timeslots in the middle — the bulk of my week — was spent impersonating a businesswoman and showing up for a life that didn’t fulfill me.
But because I was in this awareness, and my pilot light was back on, I didn’t miss the signs and synchronicities coming my way.
Life was constantly dropping hints that I needed to leave my job. I knew that in my heart, and I wanted to, but I had no plan. If I left my job, I’d literally be walking into a fog of nothing. And that was terrifying.
But the signs kept persisting until, on my way to work one morning, down a tiny residential side street, with no work crew, and no signs of road repair, I was stopped at a complete roadblock. There was no way around it to get to the commuter train. I’d have to go a completely different route.
If that wasn’t a metaphor, what possibly could be?! In that moment, I vowed to the universe/my guides/higher self that I’d leave my career, as long as, 1) they supported me through the change, and 2) got me to work on time that day.
And they came through.
A Timeline Jump
I left my job (days after receiving a significant raise).
I lived off of savings for the first year, and luckily, I had a husband bringing in income (though not enough to support both of our lifestyles).
I freelanced for a few years — which was much more aligned with my energy (shorter hours, autonomy, quieter). I was happy and comfortable. But the work I was doing wasn’t fulfilling. And that lack of passion and interest affected my internal light.
I knew there was still more for me. I was very into personal development and spirituality and had become somewhat of an oracle for my friends and past colleagues when they needed direction in their lives. And I’d been asked more times than I can count if I’d thought about starting a blog. But I was too comfortable to rock the boat.
Then the pandemic hit, and my freelance business came to a full stop. Zero work. My dad passed, and I was about to have a baby.
It was time for my second career timeline jump.
My Mission Coming Online
I spent the first 9 months of motherhood dreaming up my blog. Choosing colours, writing articles in the Notes app on my phone under the covers as my son slept, and figuring out the design.
I started the blog after the first week he’d finally slept the night. This turned my pilot light way up. I was excited in a way I’d never been before. I couldn’t wait to show up for life each day.
I loved writing articles and designing my site, but that whispering of “There’s more for me than this,” was distracting me again.
I received emails from readers saying my articles were helping them, but I felt the call to do more. To actually speak with them, shake up their understanding of themselves, and crank up their inner lights, the way experience had taught me to brighten mine.
That’s when Human Design found me synchronistically, and the coolest thing was learning that my design reflects why my corporate jobs were misaligned and the mission I’m actually here to live out: Supporting others to awaken and expand into who they truly are.
All that time, I thought I was searching for freedom, but really, I’d been searching for alignment with my natural design.
The Old Paradigm Has Conditioned You to Ignore Your Life Mission
Currently, I’m not hearing that longing voice in my head (“There’s more for me than this.”) but I’m open to her coming back again, because that voice was the seed of a new experience growing in those dim, murky moments when life was feeling flat.
And I know the old paradigm has conditioned us all to ignore this voice. But those of us who hear it, we weren’t designed to fit into the old paradigm. We’re here to usher in a new one, honour the unique design and mission we came here with, and show others a life of fulfillment, purpose, and enjoyment is not only possible, but also our birthrights.
If This Resonates, the Key Is…
1) Listen to that voice — it’s your life mission telling you you’re on the threshold of expansion.
2) Do whatever you can to reignite or raise your light (no matter how random or insignificant it may seem). Look for what excites you, and bring more of that into your life.
3) Practice more presence so you notice the signs and synchronicities guiding you…and follow them.
4) Don’t try to figure out where those signs are leading or make strict expectations for the future. Because life is meant to unfold naturally, and it’s very rarely the way your mind expects it to.
If you’d like support, I’m here to help you remember who you are when you temporarily forget, untangle what’s holding you back, and own the energy you came here to share.
Learn about Integrative Human Design sessions.
Learn about The Somatic Uprise 13-week immersion.
Also check out The Sacred Threshold Hypnotic Journey to support your expansion.
If this resonated, here’s a pin for later.
Through Integrative Human Design, subconscious repatterning, and somatic parts work, Keri-Lee Larmand guides visionary women to expand into who they came here to be. Her work supports the quiet unraveling of conditioning so women can return to their natural rhythm, intuitive wisdom, and fullest expression.